My Happy Family Torn Apart - How Long For Pain To Go Away?

I have two beautiful boys and a wife I love very much. I have done everything for her of late, but it became increasingly difficult to please her. She's a bit younger than me, and every time she gets body back after pregnancy, she wants to go out and party rather than do family stuff. She told me 2 weeks ago that she cheated on me and it was strickly physical, which didn't make it any better on me. Im really torn up about this, and she won't talk to me about it at all. She says she loves me and only wants me and when I give in and say I love her, and we can move past this, she immediately starts to push me away again. Unless she can treat me perfectly, Im never getting over this thing. She has a huge problem getting too close to people, and every time she starts to give me her heart she pulls back away. This cheating thing really did us a number. Unfortunately, she cant afford to live without me..She has no car without me, etc. I want to know what she would do if she had a car and at least 10 grand of her own money. How long is it going to be til I stop thinking about her having sex with another man every time im around her?! Its driving me nuts!My Happy Family Torn Apart - How Long For Pain To Go Away?
I know you are hurting but you have a lot of work ahead of you for your sake and the sake of your kids. Even as you try to work things out, the first thing that you should do is secretly talk to an attorney in order to make sure that you are protected and don't get railroaded if you get a divorce. Unfortunately, good fathers are getting the short end of the stick in a legal system that tends to favor the mothers - even irresponsible ones. This does not mean that you can't work things out, just don't get caught unprotected if life swings at you. Here are other tips:


1. Protect the kids at all times, you are their strength.


2. Think about hiring a Personal Investigator for a month, make sure that this is over.


3. In order to clear your mind, hit the gym hard or volunteer at a local shelter. It will get you out of the house and into a different environment.


4. Perhaps keeping a personally diary of events and issues will help you reflect or track the direction of your relationship.


5. Get it out in the open with her closest family, why should you be the only one carrying the burden of her shame.


6. Don't do anything stupid to try to ';get back at her'; that could later be used against you. Your kids will never understand.


7. When you got all your bases covered, ask for a venereal disease check. The fact is that she needs to be responsible and your family's health may be at risk.





Lastly, life has shown me that people who cheat don't do it because there is something missing from their partners but because there is something missing from inside. Find out what it is and see if you can fill that hole. Its not your fault but it is your burden.





If and when you are ready to get over it, think of this: you were not her first boyfriend were you? Just make sure that you are her last.My Happy Family Torn Apart - How Long For Pain To Go Away?
Man I'm going through the same thing as we spaek. She has nothing without me either and she cheated on me a year ago. I forgave but will never forget. I just cought her talking to an ex on myspace about hooking up as soon as she moved out, well the next day she moved out. Like an idoit I tried to win her back over some idiot that just wants one thing from her. Once they cheat it is true they will do it agian and agian. We have two kids and it is hard for them too but I think we got to move on man. I know that I will always see her cause of the kids which makes it worse but when she finds out she has made a mistake she may or may not come back. It might be to late then. She also is seven years younger than me and I think it is that she just needs to grows up. So what I'm doing is trying to live my life for my kids right now, thats whats important man. Good luck
listen little dick! i to had that problem till i got a bottle of extens, i regain some of my vitality back, listen amigo thy are straight from Mexico they use to give them to bulls for matting purposes only, ill have you know thy even grow hear but not on your head. p.s. she says that she loves me now, and my balls never been as hairy. i hope that will help you in your dilemma.
I feel sad for you. You got trapped into falling for a young gold digger. She will never change so you decided for yourself, you end it or you accept her infidelity and close your eyes. As long as she is your wife the pain will never go away and when you part the pain will stay for a while, it's life.
You sound like the typical nice guy who is being taken advantage of. Your wife has obviously learn to disrespect you. It is good to be loving but you need to see how much of a door mat you have been. After a while any woman will begin to question your manhood and challenge just how far she can go with mistreating you. Put bluntly, you need to man up. No matter how much you proclaim you love her, you have to see how being such a push over is damaging to yourself and to your relationship. Some women would love to have a guy like you, your wife does not appreciate a guy like you and you are not giving her incentive to be responsible for her mistreating you. I mean, she cheats, then refuses to talk about it, then feels she has the right to go out and party. She is being totally selfish. And you are allowing her to step all over you. This is not healthy and no fun for your ego. My advice to you will be to man up and start setting some standards of what it is you are willing to put up with and stick to it. She needs to see you mean it or she will not take you seriously. And stop worrying if she can make it financially on her own, it is obvious she has not worried about her financial security with you as she does not think anything about mistreating you. A good plan would be to demand she find a full time job and start to take responsibility on being a grown up. She sounds to have too much time on her hands to play around. Good luck to you!
Unfortunately, I don't think the pain will ever go away. I don't think I could ever heal from that level of betrayel. She should go to counseling on her own and you should go on your own. If she agrees, then maybe your marriage is worth repairing, if she fights it, I am sorry but I would take custody of the children and be on my way. She is not a child but is acting like one. Her children and her husband should come before her, and she is taking advantage of all of you. Shame on her. Get individual conseling.
Find yourself a lover - see how she likes it.
If you really want to try to fix things, I would try marraige counseling or some other type of therapy. It sounds like your wife has some issues that she needs to get worked out.





As far as getting over the hurt, man, I have been cheated on too and honestly, time is the ONLY thing that will heal this (in my opinion).