Do u think she really love(s/ed) me?

ok so i was going out with this girl (whos the first person i fell in love with) but she broke up with me.





sorry but this mite be long and just let me no if u dont quite get it.





so wed been together for a few months and then i had some problems at home with mum stepdad while my mum was away (late november early december last year) and i needed a break for a bit so she said i could stay with her for a few days, which was a big deal coz none of her family knows shes bi and she knew i had nowhere to go.





so i stayed with her for 3 days and went bakwen my mum got bak.


but last feb her aunty died and they were so close and i knew how hard it was for her and her auntys bday was christmas day and last xmas was the first xmas with out her. so she called me on xmas day and i had snuck out during the night and went to her house coz she needed me and also there was a big family fight that made it so much worse and as soon as she saw me she came over and gave me a massive hug and didnt let go.





anyway after i went home boxing day orning i was in so much trouble and i was told not to see her again but i did coz i couldnt not see her.





so a few weeks after that i went on holiday and it was so so so hard saying goodbye even tho id be bak soon and i didnt want to go coz i didnt want to leave her and she didnt want me to go either.





but while i was away she cheated on me but instead of keeping it to herself she told me and she told me how she didnt mean it and she told me that she was so so so sorry and she never ment to hurt me and she gave me the choice for us to stay together or not and i said i wanted to stay together coz i couldnt bare not to be and i no it was just coz i was away anyway.





but then it was just me and my stepdad who came bak (my mum and half bro stayed for longer) and i was having even wose problems with him and i no it was the best way to do things but one day while he was at work i was with her and i just decided to leave coz i couldnt take it anymore.





and she let me stay with her again (with her family btw) but she tried to make me go bak coz she knew how much trouble id be in.





so we went to hers and i ended up staying with her for 5 weeks til my mum got bak.





and every night wed just be snuggled up in each others arms and it was the best feeling ever and we both wished every night cold last forever.





and i turned 18 while i was there and she asked me wat i wanted so i said i want u forever and shes like uhave me forever so wat else do u want so i said i want on paper that i have u forever so she had written it on paper and a few little messages and made it all prettyful and i loved it and shed also written a letter to me and gave it to me and it said how much she loved me and how much i changed her life and that id have her heart forever and it so was sweet that i cried.





i was so in love with her and still am but like the last week i was there she was talking to this other girl (who lives in south australia, we both live in melbourne) who said shes in love with her, and as soon a i found that out i paniced coz i couldnt stand the thought of losing her , especially to someone she couldnt even see.





but she realized that i was getting jealous she sort of got annoyed at me, but at the same time said that was mite be in love with the other girl while still in love with me.





but a few days before a left she said she wanted to be with the other girl and i didnt want to lose her completely so i tried to be cool with it.





and like the day she started going out with the other girl she was still making out and stuff with me but neither of us could help it.





and the day i left we were both so upset that we cold barely say anything coz we were both crying so much.





and a few times she texted me beforei had credit and said she missed me and was sorry that she let me go but wed still be close. and wen i got credit i texted her (which was a few hours later) and she said that she talked to a friend of both of us and helped her thought it and that all she had to do was dump the other girl and we could be together.





and the a few hours later she said she wanted to give the other girl a chance but she only wants to be with me wen she can live with me (which will hopefully be in a few months time) coz she hates leaving me and i hate leaving me too.





but since then weve had a few frights and been friends again and she tells me to move on and that even if her and the othre girl break up (which they have a few times, and they had a big fight a week 1/2 ago coz she came down to see me and we endedup making out quite a few times but each time she started it and she told her gf as a jokebut they ended up having a big fight coz she said she did kiss me, but then wen i got home we talked on msn and she told me that she lied to her gf and that she 'acidently' kissed me on the side of the mouth which is so not true) we wouldnt be bak together again.





so really my question is do uDo u think she really love(s/ed) me?
Personally, i don't think shes worth the heartache.


She's playing with both of you and it's not fair.


Confront her about it directly, ask her who she really wants and if she says the other girl, then tell her not to send you signals and lead you on anymore.


If she truely loves you then she wouldn't play games.





Must be hard, i know, sorry i'm not much help





Good luck :DDo u think she really love(s/ed) me?
I think you need to find someone else. It seems like shes playing you a little to me