Girls? I wrote her a song to show her im sorry? Please rate it? I want to be sure?

Im 15, and so is my girlfriend. I love her more than anything, but i didnt realize it until too late. Anyway, im bi, but i didnt tell her, and i ended up getting carried away and cheating on her with a guy. I felt bad, so i decided to tell her and say im sorry and it didnt mean anything to me. She didnt really say if she wanted to break up, and i havent heard from her in 3 days. SO i wrote her this a song, and i going to give it to her as well as some roses later.





I would like to know if you think its any good? Here it is:





';I dont ask forgiveness


I know its not deserved


Im fighting to believe that i am ready


i cant hope to fix this


in actions or in words


and surely you'll be better off without me


and i...


without you I am nothing


living in a nothing place


with just your face on my mind....


Ive realized my greatest fear


my actions bleed your diamond tears


the echo of your absence screams through me


i try to disconnect


and now im looking back


i guess i knew i never would be ready


and i....


without you i am nothing


living in a nothing place


with just your face on my mind


youre the greatest thing that ever happend to me


and i pushed you away


now i believe theres nothing left to be


and i...


without you i am nothing


living in a nothing place


with just your face on my mind.... so beautiful';





How is it? I just want to be sure i dont need any touch ups. Please be critical and tell me what could make it better! thanksGirls? I wrote her a song to show her im sorry? Please rate it? I want to be sure?
i cant hope to fix this


in actions or in words


and surely you'll be better off without me





^ Best part.


I like it, but I'd have to hear it with music? I write a lot of songs too and play guitar, so I know how hard it can be to come up with something that's really from the heart, but you've done well here kiddo =]Girls? I wrote her a song to show her im sorry? Please rate it? I want to be sure?
In my opinion is great, but A song written from a guy, means so much less if he doesn't sing it. trust me. If you can sing, sing it to her. So much better than giving her a piece of paper with some words on it.
REALLY BEAUTIFUL!! But if you want me to be critical, cut the and i...crap. It sounds like you're gonna say and i..'m bi. Repeating the chorus twice isn't so hot. Add in another verse. But, if I were your girlfriend, I'd take you back. %26lt;3
um dat is a good song anyone would be flattered to have u as a boyfriend but did u say u cheated on ur girlfriend with a guy but its none of my business anyway ur song is great
WOW!!!!!!!! THIS CAN'T BE ANY BETTER! IT'S REALLYYYYYYYYY GOOOOOD!!!!!





good luck on getting her back! wish u luck! from Ladybug!
um the lyrics r good i just dont c where they rhyme in a lot of places...
thats good. I could never think of that in a million years. Beautiful..........
wow....beautiful. perform it for her and see what she thinks....