Why in the world did I expect him to do the right thing?

So my situation went from feeling confident to sadness in the decision of moving away from my cheating and lying husband and starting over for myself and my son because the past couple of days he has wanted to talk and talk and he finally told me while both of us were crying that he still loved me but didn't know how to tell the girlfriend who is now living in the house with him. I told him he needed to tell her because if there was a chance that we could work it out, it would take some time and she did not need to be there- aside from the fact they are both military and have been ordered not to be around each other. So anyway, long story short I told him that if he wanted to work on it, he needed to tell her. Well, he got drunk by himself because he feels horrible because he didn't know what to do which to me was the obvious- do the right thing. At least we could try and then knowing that we gave it a shot and if it didn't work, then we would have done all we could do. Well, after talking to him AND her because he didn't want to tell her- I was polite and explained to her how he and I want to work on our marriage for us and our son. She is our former babysitter and so I knew who she was. She is not very bright and I had to explain it to her 2 different ways in order for her to catch on. Then she raised her voice to me saying she needed to go to sleep and she was tired...my soon to be ex got on the phone and said he couldn't say he would choose his family over his wh***. Then I told him this was the only time I was going to put myself out there for him. Why did I expect him to do the right thing?? Why in the world did I expect him to do the right thing?
Evidently you really wanted your marriage to work, and I understand that, especially since you have a child.





However, you see now that he's playing with you. A man doesn't have to be helped telling a woman it's over, move out and move on. I don't think he's much of a man.





Sweetheart, you are better off without this idiot. I think the two of them sound like they deserve each other, and will eventually destroy themselves. They are already courting disaster by disobeying orders to stay away from each other.





You take your son and yourself and begin a new life. Get your child support in place. If you son has issues, seek counseling for him immediately. That goes for yourself, too. Take care of business.





Stop communicating with your husband. He's playing with your head and you need to put an end to it all. Don't let him reel you back in to his games. File for divorce and stick by it.





It's a hard lesson, but learn from it. (I've been there, too.) Be a strong woman. Stand on your own and don't look for another husband. Make yourself happy first and content with your life; then the right man will come along. Look at his history with women closely.





When you start to feel sad over what your husband has done, get mad instead of sad. He's treated you and your son terribly.





Take care of yourself. Happiness is possible, just not with this man or another one like him.





God smiles on you.Why in the world did I expect him to do the right thing?
Your logic was deluded with love and the ideal of love. In your example, he never did the right thing 1 time. Only love could have made him do the right thing. Obviously, his love is elsewhere. Move on.
You did it because you thought with your emotions and ignored logic, guess your at the same intelligence level as the girlfriend.



He drinks...that's ALL I need to know, right there.





Never marry a drinker. Never live with a drinker. Never rely on a drinker.





I can't put it more plainly than that.
You expected him to do the 'right thing' because he led you to believe that he wanted to work on your marriage.





Move on and leave him to go about his life with his mistress.
I don't know but you are better than me. I couldn't try to work it out with someone who had another person living in the home we had. You should go on with your life either that will make him take a stance to be with you or he will stay with her either way at least you will not be at a stand still any longer.
Maybe it does not really matter why, as, regardless, you have gotten the ultimate answer as to where hubby's loyalties, etc. now are; and you can get on with your life, your plans for the future, and your pursuit of happiness.





My feeling is that your hubby is a bit of a manipulator; and perhaps on some level does not necessarily know what he wants. In any case, it was wrong for him to mislead you as to a potential reconciliation.
A lot of men do this.





You made it too easy on him. You should have told him that you would only discuss getting back together after he kicked the babysitter out.