How did she become so bitter and hateful all of a sudden?

My long time GF and I broke up back in June... we had planned to get married etc. Anyway, after we broke up she still wanted to talk everyday etc and that lasted for a few weeks... then she started to get really pushy, angry and bitter with me. She is NY for an internship and I am back home, anyway... She would start insulting me, saying hurtful things, trying to make me feel bad etc. I have tried to be the bigger person here but she has cut off all contact with me for the most part. The other day I wrote her a letter that I poured my heart out in and I sent her a starbucks gift card as well. I texted her saying to let me know if she got it, she texted right back asking when did i send it, what kind of package etc. So when she got it she sent me a text that just said ';i got it. thank you very much.'; I am trying to show her that I love her etc but its like she does not even care. Back at college she has very little friends and I sacrificed a lot of friendships and ties to be with her and keep her company and now I guess she made some friends in NY and she has just pushed me away. I never cheated on her and we had our fights here and there but for the most part we were a great couple... Lastly, I noticed that when she writes things to people on sites like facebook etc., she uses words and terms that I always said that she said she hated and were jerkish. One more thing, I made her a build-a-bear back in June as an apology and she claims to still have it on her nightstand if that makes any difference. I know this sounds weak, I am just confused and a tad heartbroken and am looking for some advice on what I should do or what is going through her head. ThanksHow did she become so bitter and hateful all of a sudden?
Honey? When you break up with a girl, break up for real. That means you don't call her or text her or make her an apology teddy bear or send her Starbucks cards. Both people need a good long time to heal before they can even consider becoming friends again. That healing won't happen if you keep acting like you're still dating.





As to why she's gotten hateful. Well, for one thing, she's finally realizing that she has no friends back home or at school other than you. She doesn't like herself very much but she's turning that anger on you simply because you keep throwing yourself in front of her.





The bottom line here is that you've been dating a young woman who is not emotionally healthy, and you've allowed her to manipulate you throughout your relationship (yes, you did - you're the one who gave up your friends for her). Manipulative people are dishonest, they're hell to live with, they don't like themselves at all, and they're never satisfied with anything you do for them. Is that how you want the rest of your life to be?





No more contact with her until she's been on medications for depression and been going to regular talk therapy sessions with a mental health professional for at least a year. She needs to work on a lot of issues before she'll ever be ready to be a part of a couple.





No more contact. That means phone calls, emails, text messages, pages, cards, bears, flowers. You know those friends you dropped? Start calling them. They've missed you. Go hang with your friends and catch up on all you missed. See what they're all into now and join in. Make new friends. Find a new hobby or two that will keep you busy, keep your mind of this girl, get you out of the house regularly, and bring you into contact with new people.





Your heart is going to heal but it will take some time. Don't rush into a new relationship. Take your time to be friends with girls before you start to date them. You'll be all right.





Move forward, and stop looking back.How did she become so bitter and hateful all of a sudden?
you move on


and never talk to her again


she has emotional issues


that are not your problem


and it best that she reveals her inner true character now


than being in a marriage with her and then resenting the choice you made



After the break up it seems foolish to pursue her or write a love letter or send gifts.You are bending down too much for nothing.Forget her and start afresh.
You write ALL of that and leave the most important detail out - WHY DID YOU BREAK UP???





Sounds to me she is stringing you along and is ready to move on.
she might have got better than you.



She sounds very narcistic, people like that only think about themselves, who they hurt is of no concern. The usually have difficulty keeping a long term relationship. If it is meant to be she will contact you, but don't waste your life waiting. Goodluck!
shes probably hurting just as bad as you are, she may just be confused because you both are living far apart at the moment. if you both are serious and commited to eachother, why dont you move where shes at? i dont know what is going through her head, you may just want to ask her on her feelings. good luck!
I lived through a situation almost identical to yours. A girl that I was going to marry slowly drifted away. It got to the point, just like your case that she basically stopped talking, calling and texting and the few times she did communicate it was nothing but insults. She would never offer any explaination as to why she did a complete about face and she got to the point that there was absolutely no communication at all. I thought about this for months and I was upset and confused, but still had no answers as to why this girl just went away. One day out of the blue a friend of hers stopped by my house. She said I know why your girlfriend left and you should know the reason. Here all along, my girlfriend had been secretly seeing a married man and recently I found out that he finally left his wife and that they now live together. The moral of the story is this. If you investigate this far enough, I'll bet you find there's another man involved. Wouldn't life be so much easier if they would tell you the truth from the start? It would still hurt, but at least we would know the truth. Your life will get better, Good Luck
i think shes trying to tell u to move on with your life,cause it sounds like u r a pest to her n shes geting mad cause she wants u to stop bothering her,,so if u stop n i mean not even dcall her give her the chance to get in touch with u,she mjight if she loves u any at all but if she is being mean u need to tell her to not bother u any more caus eshe will only b calling u cause she feels sorry for you..there is someone out there who will love only you if you go out n find them,u have wasted n given up to much for someone who dose no tlove you,,peace
I think you should call it off, she doesn't seem interested anymore. When you are the only one trying to make it work, that means it's not going to work, because only one party cares, and the other doesn't.





Don't waste your energy, and give it to her straight, tell her that you are tired of feeling heartbroken and worried all the time, and for her to tell you what she wants, then you can move on, tell her to be honest and don't dance around the subject, because really, it's not fair on you at all.





You shouldn't be stressing this much in a relationship whether it's friendship etc, they are meant to be enjoyed.





Good Luck!
Just let her get over it give her 6 months to a year.....women are really people who can hold onto a grudge for a long time. If you guys are friends, in a while of not talking she will miss you, but she will think it has been too long to contact you..and maybe a tad bit embarrassed, so I would not contact her at all for a while, and then call her out of the blue after some time has went by and she has had a good chance to cool down. good luck