Should I Trust him or not?

Hi..


Im new to this but i have read a lot of good advice from everyone..


I need your advice .. all I need is for you to be honest.. no matter what


you have to say.. Thanks for your time..





I lived with a guy for 11yrs we have 2 girls.. he always accused me of cheating


on him which i never did. He was my first and my only (sexually). About five years


ago I had our second baby I dont know but I got depressed. I know I pushed him


away. Well he cheated on me with my sister, supposely nothing happen. Only


letters I found, the letters did not say anything of they being together so in a way


I do believe nothing happened. But there is always the doubt. We got back together


after that, I forgave him but i never forgot. I did wrong and I cheated on him. I did it


worse cause I made everyone know, I dont have an excuse for doing such thing,


I didnt love that person, I love my daughter's dad. When he knew about it he left the house..


That destroyed me. I do not know what I was expecting. Now a year later we decided


to try once again to save our relationship.. I have a myspace and facebook which as soon


as he came around I posted I was married, put pics of us together etc. well he did not..


Im very clumsy and sometimes I text the wrong person. Well I have a bestlfriend which


is lesbian, and I texted her ';who are you flirting with? u have a gf now?'; .. well


i didnt send it to her i sent it to him.. I get home the first thing he says is.. oh you going


through my cell.. That killed me.. cause i was going to tell him about the text I sent


him by mistake and he basically confessed to flirting.. I just said thank you and walked away..


he said that he thought i saw a text from a guy friend of his asking for a girls number..


it doesnt make sense .. how can i get jealous and say u r flirting cuz of that? well


i left the situation there.. he has a PS3.. so my internet was down i decided to


use the internet on the PS3.. when i go to myspace I see he has another myspace account


which is not the one he has me on.. and the history showed he was messaging ..


so i decided to look into it.. I found pics of women.. I found him asking for pics..


I saw profiles he went to.. etc.. I called him and told him.. his excuse is that happen


b4 he decided he really wants to do things the right way with me..which supposely he


just decided about a week ago.. he said we should


get help so we can save this.. but i cant trust him.. what if its just another lie..


what if its not.. how will i ever know if he makes another account.. or calls girls..


I do not want to become a stalker .. I want us to respect our privacy but be able


to trust each other.. I dont think I can.. after all this .. I have no trust... am I right or


wrong? can you please help me out..





Thanks..Should I Trust him or not?
That's up to you what you want to do.Should I Trust him or not?
im sorry sweetie but he definately sounds like a cheater :(
He's a total sleazebag. No amount of wishful thinking is going to change him.
Why are you two bothering to make this work out? IMHO, too much bad stuff has happened between the two of you, and you both have gone out of your way to try to hurt the other one. You are both insecure people, based on what you shared in your story. If you decide to stay with this guy and he decides to stay with you, I thhink you both need individual counseling and couple counseling. Remember, your children are watching this drama and you are showing them that this is what it means to have a relationship with someone. Is that what you want them to learn?
It looks like you both have alot of trust issues and understandably so!! You didn't give much info as far as what made you think he was messing around with your sister? For me, that would have been the straw that broke the camels back. I also think that you two need to do some FAST growing up because you both have brought children in the world. My advice to you is take a break from him for awhile so that you can think about it. You can't think about it entirely when you are living in misery! Trust is key to having a healthy relationship and you two just don't have that right now. Can you some day trust one another? Absolutely, but you both have to want that because if one wants it and the other is not putting any effort in, then you are doomed. I wish you and your family the best.
well this sounds really familiar to a situation of mine...we have trust issues...and its not as happy of a relationship cuz trust and honesty are the two most important factors in a relationship, i believe. so idk...if you feel you cant trust him dont put in more time then just end up being hurt find someone loyal and honest.
well for you I would say no, because I am i daughter of a mother who should have walk away but didnt. see she went through the same thing. She give him chance after chance. But she is still with him, see he is bypolar and got help he is doing better. He is starting to care a little more about to family. Well anyway my adivice would be if this is the third time going back to him. Do it tell him he needs to love his wife and kids while you are still around. Because you can't buy family. If this is the fourth time going back to him, leave unless you have faith he will change. Because if you dont leave him it could harm your kids and you. Trust me i see it everyday in my moms eyes, the what if i really did leave where would i be and with who. but anyway i hope the best for you and your kids. thanks o.. and good luck. just have faith and that could lead you on the right path.
I have my own opinions on this problem, but I know of someone who can give you an answer that is non-biased and honest.





Shes called Deidre, she solves peoples personal problems just like your one. She writes for The Sun, a UK paper, but her and her team reply individually on problems.








Try it out, I assure you she will give you an awesome response.








problems@deardeidre.org
I am sorry, but this does not sound like a guy who is happy just being with you. This has been an issue and seems to me like it will continue to be. The trust is gone, that means the relationship is too. I am sorry but I think you need to move on.
I believe you and your boyfriend could benefit from counseling. If he won't go with you, go by yourself. It is time to grow up since you have children who need an adult in their lives to guide them and set a good example. They should be your first concern. Your job right now is to make sure they have a secure and loving home. I'm sure you want a better life for them. Sincerely, K
You two need to see a counselor together. These things can be worked on (because let's be honest, you both have done wrong things in the relationship). What it really takes is the time and commitment to get things back on track. If you are both whole heartedly in, it can work. If not, I'm afraid it will never work. The choice is up to the two of you. No sense in continually living in the past. Just move forward in a positive way from here on out.
Sad to say, if you have to ask the question, you already know the answer. You probably can't trust him. And if you can't trust someone it's hard to really love them..... it's sad, but that's how it was with me and my ex. And I realllllly loved him, but I just couldn't trust him and then I would check his facebook/myspace/cell and found out more things, but he'd always have an answer. As hard as it may be, for your sanity, and happiness in the longrun, you might need to let him go.