hey, im a highschool kid who has a college boyfriend. everyone at school talks about sex 24/7. but im not the type that would talk about sex to everyone and anyone. it seems like to get in with the crowd is to talk about sex. dont get me wrong i had sex before. but i had sex because i love the guy. my friends had sex just to lose it and fit in. now that my boyfriend is off at college i been getting cravings. i told this to a friend and he offer to be friends with benfits. i know its wrong. how can i stop getting pressured by my peers? and how do i control my cravings? i dont wanna cheat. plus sometimes when i hear people talk about sex, it gets on my nerves because they dont know what they are talking about.. how do i control myself?I get cravings, but he lives far away, and i dont wanna cheat?!?
Don't worry about cheating on him he may be cheating on you already but won't tell you. College kids are like that. Sex is available every where.
You two aren't officially engaged or married so it really isn't cheating anyway. When you get the urges go find one of your friends and have at it. They are normally referred to as ';f*** buddies';. no commitment just sex for pleasure.
Remember this little saying, it is one my wife and I live by: ';Sex washes off; love lasts forever.'; We have a good marriage and open relationships with others. Sex is not a sin as the Christian anti sex people claim. It is meant to be enjoyed and good for your health. Depriving your self can lead to complications especially since you have already had sex. Just use protection and try to choose partners who have regular STD checks.I get cravings, but he lives far away, and i dont wanna cheat?!?
If you are a high school kid who has a college boyfriend is that considered statutory rape?
I think you should focus your mind on school and not on sex. There is more to life than sex. As you get older, it will not matter much..
Trust me.
If you have urges I suggest that you take Pink's advise, and you know what song I am talking about.
Blow-up doll.
I suggest cold showers.
Well if you're getting cravings...there's a sex toy called the rabbit.
I bought it for my wife whenever I have to go on the road...she loves me even more, because it definitely satisfies her...maybe more than I can, but I do what I have to.
Use this toy and you will be craving-free.
peace
Just control yourself and you will gain will power also, its better for you.
call your boyfriend and have phone sex it may be a little wierd at first but if you both get into it at least you won't need to cheat but hes probally cheating on you now as you sit here typing cause hes at collage have you ever been there tons of really hot drunk horney girls
I was once in a long distance relationship too, good for you for not wanting to cheat, especially with the temptation right there, if you are getting ';cravings'; that badly, I know it may sound perverted, but get yourself a toy...Spencer's gifts has a wonderful supply
also, a great way to keep in touch with your man - web-cam and microphones, it's like he's right there, only not...
Tell your b/f that you need to get together more often
or your relationship is not going to last...
Go ahead and get some. I'm sure he's not holding out. If you're having cravings, it means that you have a natural desire for it. It's not wrong in anyway. That's the way god made you. If you can't trust god, what can you trust?
The answer starts with BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ and ends with ooooohhhh lala.
Take a lot of cold showers or something but whatever you do don't act on those impulses. I know you may be craving but it can't be that bad. Not to be vulger or anything but I heard that masterbating will help you ease the craving. Just call your man up for a little phone sex he'll like that.
yahoo messenger and a web cam. phone sex for the modern ages.
get some toys and lots of batteries!!
NEVER cheat on a man you love. In the end it will only hurt you. If you dont tell him the guilt will eat u up and if you do it will destroy your relationship. Talking about sex is always going to happen, u think kids in college don't talk about sex too!!??? Your boyfriend is under the same pressures and the truth is that guys get urges more than girls, so I think that if he loves you and respects you enough to say no to peer pressure and to temptation, you should do the same for him. Thats if you truley love him and want a long relationship with him. If not than breakup with him and enjoy the single life. As for your friend that offered to be friends with benifits, that is a really sleezy move. A true friend would understand that you are under pressure and devestated and try to encourage you to do the right thing, not offer to sleep with you. Plus any guy will say that they'd ';comfort'; you, but you gotta do the right thing. Also, your boyfriend and you have problably had a lot of time to get to know each other and to know if either of you has any stds. With this new guy your not so safe. So the point being, if you love the guy, then respect him. If you don't, leave him and just make sure you don't catch anything from anyone.
-Good luck deciding
:)
Just think about the consequences of your actions before you do them. That is all.
And just what do you think your college boyfriend is doing about *his* cravings?
College boy/girlfriends are rarely faithful to their high school girl/boyfriends when they are in a long distance relationship.
--------------------------------------…
You claim your bf is faithful, it's possible (though as I said extremely rare.) Ask him how he deals with his cravings.
Friday, August 20, 2010
How can I make my relationship with my finace better? He trust me completely, but I still can't trust him.
We have been dating for a year and a half now and when we first started dating, he was still not over his ex and cheated on me with her. Even though it was a year and a half later, I still have a problem trusting him. It comes from every realtionship that I have had, the guy ALWAYS cheated on me. I explained that it is something that won't go away overnight and that it would take sometime fot it to go away. We fight everyday over stupid stuff. I feel like I am in a one sided relationship. I have to plan everything, he isn't a romantic what so ever. He got fired from his job 2 weeks ago and hasn't done anything to find a new one. Man, the more I do this, the more I realize he isn't for me, but I love him and his family like they were my own. Someone help!!!How can I make my relationship with my finace better? He trust me completely, but I still can't trust him.
you haven't gotten over what he is done and when somebody does somethig to betray your trust you find it hard to forget...you really do have to evaluate if this is the man you want to marry. If he sin't making the extra effort to help you get over the trust issued he himself has created in you then he isn't worth it.How can I make my relationship with my finace better? He trust me completely, but I still can't trust him.
u need to figure this one out for your self but listen to your heart ....before you tell him goodbye lol
pray
you haven't gotten over what he is done and when somebody does somethig to betray your trust you find it hard to forget...you really do have to evaluate if this is the man you want to marry. If he sin't making the extra effort to help you get over the trust issued he himself has created in you then he isn't worth it.How can I make my relationship with my finace better? He trust me completely, but I still can't trust him.
u need to figure this one out for your self but listen to your heart ....before you tell him goodbye lol
pray
I get cravings, but he lives far away, and i dont wanna cheat?!?
hey, im a highschool kid who has a college boyfriend. everyone at school talks about sex 24/7. but im not the type that would talk about sex to everyone and anyone. it seems like to get in with the crowd is to talk about sex. dont get me wrong i had sex before. but i had sex because i love the guy. my friends had sex just to lose it and fit in. now that my boyfriend is off at college i been getting cravings. i told this to a friend and he offer to be friends with benfits. i know its wrong. how can i stop getting pressured by my peers? and how do i control my cravings? i dont wanna cheat. plus sometimes when i hear people talk about sex, it gets on my nerves because they dont know what they are talking about.. how do i control myself?I get cravings, but he lives far away, and i dont wanna cheat?!?
Don't worry about cheating on him he may be cheating on you already but won't tell you. College kids are like that. Sex is available every where.
You two aren't officially engaged or married so it really isn't cheating anyway. When you get the urges go find one of your friends and have at it. They are normally referred to as ';f*** buddies';. no commitment just sex for pleasure.
Remember this little saying, it is one my wife and I live by: ';Sex washes off; love lasts forever.'; We have a good marriage and open relationships with others. Sex is not a sin as the Christian anti sex people claim. It is meant to be enjoyed and good for your health. Depriving your self can lead to complications especially since you have already had sex. Just use protection and try to choose partners who have regular STD checks.I get cravings, but he lives far away, and i dont wanna cheat?!?
If you are a high school kid who has a college boyfriend is that considered statutory rape?
I think you should focus your mind on school and not on sex. There is more to life than sex. As you get older, it will not matter much..
Trust me.
If you have urges I suggest that you take Pink's advise, and you know what song I am talking about.
Blow-up doll.
I suggest cold showers.
Well if you're getting cravings...there's a sex toy called the rabbit.
I bought it for my wife whenever I have to go on the road...she loves me even more, because it definitely satisfies her...maybe more than I can, but I do what I have to.
Use this toy and you will be craving-free.
peace
Just control yourself and you will gain will power also, its better for you.
call your boyfriend and have phone sex it may be a little wierd at first but if you both get into it at least you won't need to cheat but hes probally cheating on you now as you sit here typing cause hes at collage have you ever been there tons of really hot drunk horney girls
I was once in a long distance relationship too, good for you for not wanting to cheat, especially with the temptation right there, if you are getting ';cravings'; that badly, I know it may sound perverted, but get yourself a toy...Spencer's gifts has a wonderful supply
also, a great way to keep in touch with your man - web-cam and microphones, it's like he's right there, only not...
Tell your b/f that you need to get together more often
or your relationship is not going to last...
Go ahead and get some. I'm sure he's not holding out. If you're having cravings, it means that you have a natural desire for it. It's not wrong in anyway. That's the way god made you. If you can't trust god, what can you trust?
The answer starts with BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ and ends with ooooohhhh lala.
Take a lot of cold showers or something but whatever you do don't act on those impulses. I know you may be craving but it can't be that bad. Not to be vulger or anything but I heard that masterbating will help you ease the craving. Just call your man up for a little phone sex he'll like that.
yahoo messenger and a web cam. phone sex for the modern ages.
get some toys and lots of batteries!!
NEVER cheat on a man you love. In the end it will only hurt you. If you dont tell him the guilt will eat u up and if you do it will destroy your relationship. Talking about sex is always going to happen, u think kids in college don't talk about sex too!!??? Your boyfriend is under the same pressures and the truth is that guys get urges more than girls, so I think that if he loves you and respects you enough to say no to peer pressure and to temptation, you should do the same for him. Thats if you truley love him and want a long relationship with him. If not than breakup with him and enjoy the single life. As for your friend that offered to be friends with benifits, that is a really sleezy move. A true friend would understand that you are under pressure and devestated and try to encourage you to do the right thing, not offer to sleep with you. Plus any guy will say that they'd ';comfort'; you, but you gotta do the right thing. Also, your boyfriend and you have problably had a lot of time to get to know each other and to know if either of you has any stds. With this new guy your not so safe. So the point being, if you love the guy, then respect him. If you don't, leave him and just make sure you don't catch anything from anyone.
-Good luck deciding
:)
Just think about the consequences of your actions before you do them. That is all.
And just what do you think your college boyfriend is doing about *his* cravings?
College boy/girlfriends are rarely faithful to their high school girl/boyfriends when they are in a long distance relationship.
--------------------------------------…
You claim your bf is faithful, it's possible (though as I said extremely rare.) Ask him how he deals with his cravings.myspace pictures Difference between Malotic and Otomax
Don't worry about cheating on him he may be cheating on you already but won't tell you. College kids are like that. Sex is available every where.
You two aren't officially engaged or married so it really isn't cheating anyway. When you get the urges go find one of your friends and have at it. They are normally referred to as ';f*** buddies';. no commitment just sex for pleasure.
Remember this little saying, it is one my wife and I live by: ';Sex washes off; love lasts forever.'; We have a good marriage and open relationships with others. Sex is not a sin as the Christian anti sex people claim. It is meant to be enjoyed and good for your health. Depriving your self can lead to complications especially since you have already had sex. Just use protection and try to choose partners who have regular STD checks.I get cravings, but he lives far away, and i dont wanna cheat?!?
If you are a high school kid who has a college boyfriend is that considered statutory rape?
I think you should focus your mind on school and not on sex. There is more to life than sex. As you get older, it will not matter much..
Trust me.
If you have urges I suggest that you take Pink's advise, and you know what song I am talking about.
Blow-up doll.
I suggest cold showers.
Well if you're getting cravings...there's a sex toy called the rabbit.
I bought it for my wife whenever I have to go on the road...she loves me even more, because it definitely satisfies her...maybe more than I can, but I do what I have to.
Use this toy and you will be craving-free.
peace
Just control yourself and you will gain will power also, its better for you.
call your boyfriend and have phone sex it may be a little wierd at first but if you both get into it at least you won't need to cheat but hes probally cheating on you now as you sit here typing cause hes at collage have you ever been there tons of really hot drunk horney girls
I was once in a long distance relationship too, good for you for not wanting to cheat, especially with the temptation right there, if you are getting ';cravings'; that badly, I know it may sound perverted, but get yourself a toy...Spencer's gifts has a wonderful supply
also, a great way to keep in touch with your man - web-cam and microphones, it's like he's right there, only not...
Tell your b/f that you need to get together more often
or your relationship is not going to last...
Go ahead and get some. I'm sure he's not holding out. If you're having cravings, it means that you have a natural desire for it. It's not wrong in anyway. That's the way god made you. If you can't trust god, what can you trust?
The answer starts with BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ and ends with ooooohhhh lala.
Take a lot of cold showers or something but whatever you do don't act on those impulses. I know you may be craving but it can't be that bad. Not to be vulger or anything but I heard that masterbating will help you ease the craving. Just call your man up for a little phone sex he'll like that.
yahoo messenger and a web cam. phone sex for the modern ages.
get some toys and lots of batteries!!
NEVER cheat on a man you love. In the end it will only hurt you. If you dont tell him the guilt will eat u up and if you do it will destroy your relationship. Talking about sex is always going to happen, u think kids in college don't talk about sex too!!??? Your boyfriend is under the same pressures and the truth is that guys get urges more than girls, so I think that if he loves you and respects you enough to say no to peer pressure and to temptation, you should do the same for him. Thats if you truley love him and want a long relationship with him. If not than breakup with him and enjoy the single life. As for your friend that offered to be friends with benifits, that is a really sleezy move. A true friend would understand that you are under pressure and devestated and try to encourage you to do the right thing, not offer to sleep with you. Plus any guy will say that they'd ';comfort'; you, but you gotta do the right thing. Also, your boyfriend and you have problably had a lot of time to get to know each other and to know if either of you has any stds. With this new guy your not so safe. So the point being, if you love the guy, then respect him. If you don't, leave him and just make sure you don't catch anything from anyone.
-Good luck deciding
:)
Just think about the consequences of your actions before you do them. That is all.
And just what do you think your college boyfriend is doing about *his* cravings?
College boy/girlfriends are rarely faithful to their high school girl/boyfriends when they are in a long distance relationship.
--------------------------------------…
You claim your bf is faithful, it's possible (though as I said extremely rare.) Ask him how he deals with his cravings.
Reposted - need more - my first - he cheated on her with me - is there a positive in all this? moving on...
So I've been getting responses here about a guy I slept with years ago (yes I still have issues with it - not sure why) and I've been basically holding on to reassurance that since he was cheating on his partner at the time (now his wife), then their relationship must be bad and he is a bad person.
This, I have learnt is not true. I have learned that men are not monogamous. He saw an opportunity to cheat and get away with it so he took it. I was unaware of the g/f and ended it when I found out. He obviously loved/s the gf/wife, he cares for her, he married her. Men can 'compartmentalize' mentally - so the cheating meant NOTHING to him. I was stupid enough to think sleeping with him just might lead to some legitimate dating (yes I KNOW how silly I was now!). And I got hurt. When he cheated with me he had just had a child with the girl and I learned that this life event, especially when young (he was 27 at the time) can lead to cheating. So I understand what it was about now but I am even more HURT! He just used me - he thought nothing of me/it - he didn't care at all, ever. He had/has all the good things in his life and the wife never found out. He'll never 'pay'. I never told the gf/wife as I didn't know her and was too embarrassed - and of course I'd never go back and tell her now. He just got away clean - and he is reaping the benefits of it now still probably, It probably made him a better husband, - by getting away with it once and possibly deciding to settle down properly after that.
What I am saying is that all the theory fits in - and now that I understand it, it hurst more as there was absolutely no benefit in it for me - and sex and possibly a greater appreciation of what he has for him.
Is there anything you can see above that we could turn into a positive for me to salvage some dignity/positivity from?
I;ll add that it was mostly hope/silliness on my part - he never told me he loved me or promised me anything..........
I'd doubt he still cheats as they live in a small town close to family and friends - I doubt he would be that silly now they are married etc = just a guess as I saw them once and they looked happy.......Reposted - need more - my first - he cheated on her with me - is there a positive in all this? moving on...
Hey Hollie,
Not all men cheat. In fact the majority of us do not. It is that other group who has the lack of conscience that allows them to attempt more than one relationship at a time.
Please do not paint us all with the same black brush that many of those at YA do. The majority of responders have their own crosses to bear and you will hear more from them than the ones who are satisfied with thier condition.
Many, many men are filled with happiness that a woman would love them. They are not interested in the chase, the conquest or any of that other crap that the unfaithful practice.
your problem becomes that you fell for just that crap and gave yourself to a person who was not worthy of your affection.
Quit beating yourself up over this.
You are running the risk of becoming an extreemly unhappy, morose person.
You really need to find a way to quit worrying about him. There is no benefit in understanding his motivation except to be able to recognise this behavior pattern in the future.
You really need to take a step back and view your feelings toward him and think how nice it would be if your guy returned those same feelings. This is the guy you need to think about and where to find him.
As for dignity, that is another term for pride. I fear we spend far to much emotional energy on that attitude.
It can be a good thing to view this experience as just that, experience. It has become part of you now and will lead you to making sure you do not give yourself to someone in future unless they can show that they are available and want to have that relationship with you.
As for virginity it is a highly overrated condition which is far better taken care of long before you decide who your life partner will be.
I've always felt the voluntary choice with something to compare against was more important than the fact that you have been with someone else. Presumably that causes doubts later about the person who needs that lack of comparison. Virginity was a lot more about property and heratage than it was some moral purpose.
It may be past time to put the sexuality in the catagory of a fond memory and him in the category of a jerk that you are sorry you met, AND THEN move on.
Your case is not special, nor is it uncommon. Your obsessing like this is not a good thing. You are hurt but it is not the end of the world unless you make it be.
Perhaps you should consider some counselling.
Your conclusions about the state of men are not correct. These thoughts about all men cheating are based on too small a sample.
Many many of us do not cheat and do not use their partners.
You need to get your head out of the world of men who do and attempt to find one who does not.Reposted - need more - my first - he cheated on her with me - is there a positive in all this? moving on...
We're you aware that time that he was cheating With you?? Then Shame on YOu!!.. So dont expect something positive from that!
next time get to know the person well befor you take it to the sex level.
Jesus Christ get your self some counseling.
I am SO sorry. It must be agonizing.
but there are positives. it may take a while for you to see them.
1) you learned from this that some guys are like that. you will be more careful, more cautious in the future.
2) because of this experience you will be able to tell your friends when they are about to get into this situation - you can help keep them from going through what you are going through. and your words will carry power because you have been there.
3) you have learned that in the area of sex, men just don't think the same way as women. this is useful to know.
But i have to disagree on 2 points - i seriously doubt that cheating made him a better husband. And i can not accept that a man cheating on his pregnant wife is all that good a guy. He had a choice. His choice doesn't make him the most evil man in the world, but that is not the sort of thing a good husband does.
You are still so hung up on something that happened years ago that you need to 'salvage some dignity'? Get thee to a counselor, woman, and get a life. Your case is way beyond our ability to do anything for you.
one a cheater they wil always cheat if he sept with you there would be other girls too baby girl
I think you might be harboring just a tad of resentment, not only towards him, but towards yourself. Everyone makes mistakes. I don't want to comment why he did this to you, because he will look like a player and you will look like the played. But to resent the fact that he has moved on and you haven't is your own fault. Years ago is a long time. Think of it this way...You slept with a guy and it turned out to be nothing. BUT, hopefully, you learned a lesson and will never do it again. I believe bad things happen to us sometimes to change the course of our lives, so we can save ourselves from traveling down the wrong road and stop bad behavior. Let go of the past. Pray. Ask for forgiveness. But move on.
The positive is that you now have an insight as to how men think and behave. You wont be taken for such a fool a second time. The thing that worries me though - this happened years ago, so why haven't you moved on in the meantime? It sounds like it's become an obsession. If you want the truth, then everybody gets used at some stage in their lives - you're not the only one. You just have to chalk it up to experience and move on.
This, I have learnt is not true. I have learned that men are not monogamous. He saw an opportunity to cheat and get away with it so he took it. I was unaware of the g/f and ended it when I found out. He obviously loved/s the gf/wife, he cares for her, he married her. Men can 'compartmentalize' mentally - so the cheating meant NOTHING to him. I was stupid enough to think sleeping with him just might lead to some legitimate dating (yes I KNOW how silly I was now!). And I got hurt. When he cheated with me he had just had a child with the girl and I learned that this life event, especially when young (he was 27 at the time) can lead to cheating. So I understand what it was about now but I am even more HURT! He just used me - he thought nothing of me/it - he didn't care at all, ever. He had/has all the good things in his life and the wife never found out. He'll never 'pay'. I never told the gf/wife as I didn't know her and was too embarrassed - and of course I'd never go back and tell her now. He just got away clean - and he is reaping the benefits of it now still probably, It probably made him a better husband, - by getting away with it once and possibly deciding to settle down properly after that.
What I am saying is that all the theory fits in - and now that I understand it, it hurst more as there was absolutely no benefit in it for me - and sex and possibly a greater appreciation of what he has for him.
Is there anything you can see above that we could turn into a positive for me to salvage some dignity/positivity from?
I;ll add that it was mostly hope/silliness on my part - he never told me he loved me or promised me anything..........
I'd doubt he still cheats as they live in a small town close to family and friends - I doubt he would be that silly now they are married etc = just a guess as I saw them once and they looked happy.......Reposted - need more - my first - he cheated on her with me - is there a positive in all this? moving on...
Hey Hollie,
Not all men cheat. In fact the majority of us do not. It is that other group who has the lack of conscience that allows them to attempt more than one relationship at a time.
Please do not paint us all with the same black brush that many of those at YA do. The majority of responders have their own crosses to bear and you will hear more from them than the ones who are satisfied with thier condition.
Many, many men are filled with happiness that a woman would love them. They are not interested in the chase, the conquest or any of that other crap that the unfaithful practice.
your problem becomes that you fell for just that crap and gave yourself to a person who was not worthy of your affection.
Quit beating yourself up over this.
You are running the risk of becoming an extreemly unhappy, morose person.
You really need to find a way to quit worrying about him. There is no benefit in understanding his motivation except to be able to recognise this behavior pattern in the future.
You really need to take a step back and view your feelings toward him and think how nice it would be if your guy returned those same feelings. This is the guy you need to think about and where to find him.
As for dignity, that is another term for pride. I fear we spend far to much emotional energy on that attitude.
It can be a good thing to view this experience as just that, experience. It has become part of you now and will lead you to making sure you do not give yourself to someone in future unless they can show that they are available and want to have that relationship with you.
As for virginity it is a highly overrated condition which is far better taken care of long before you decide who your life partner will be.
I've always felt the voluntary choice with something to compare against was more important than the fact that you have been with someone else. Presumably that causes doubts later about the person who needs that lack of comparison. Virginity was a lot more about property and heratage than it was some moral purpose.
It may be past time to put the sexuality in the catagory of a fond memory and him in the category of a jerk that you are sorry you met, AND THEN move on.
Your case is not special, nor is it uncommon. Your obsessing like this is not a good thing. You are hurt but it is not the end of the world unless you make it be.
Perhaps you should consider some counselling.
Your conclusions about the state of men are not correct. These thoughts about all men cheating are based on too small a sample.
Many many of us do not cheat and do not use their partners.
You need to get your head out of the world of men who do and attempt to find one who does not.Reposted - need more - my first - he cheated on her with me - is there a positive in all this? moving on...
We're you aware that time that he was cheating With you?? Then Shame on YOu!!.. So dont expect something positive from that!
next time get to know the person well befor you take it to the sex level.
Jesus Christ get your self some counseling.
I am SO sorry. It must be agonizing.
but there are positives. it may take a while for you to see them.
1) you learned from this that some guys are like that. you will be more careful, more cautious in the future.
2) because of this experience you will be able to tell your friends when they are about to get into this situation - you can help keep them from going through what you are going through. and your words will carry power because you have been there.
3) you have learned that in the area of sex, men just don't think the same way as women. this is useful to know.
But i have to disagree on 2 points - i seriously doubt that cheating made him a better husband. And i can not accept that a man cheating on his pregnant wife is all that good a guy. He had a choice. His choice doesn't make him the most evil man in the world, but that is not the sort of thing a good husband does.
You are still so hung up on something that happened years ago that you need to 'salvage some dignity'? Get thee to a counselor, woman, and get a life. Your case is way beyond our ability to do anything for you.
one a cheater they wil always cheat if he sept with you there would be other girls too baby girl
I think you might be harboring just a tad of resentment, not only towards him, but towards yourself. Everyone makes mistakes. I don't want to comment why he did this to you, because he will look like a player and you will look like the played. But to resent the fact that he has moved on and you haven't is your own fault. Years ago is a long time. Think of it this way...You slept with a guy and it turned out to be nothing. BUT, hopefully, you learned a lesson and will never do it again. I believe bad things happen to us sometimes to change the course of our lives, so we can save ourselves from traveling down the wrong road and stop bad behavior. Let go of the past. Pray. Ask for forgiveness. But move on.
The positive is that you now have an insight as to how men think and behave. You wont be taken for such a fool a second time. The thing that worries me though - this happened years ago, so why haven't you moved on in the meantime? It sounds like it's become an obsession. If you want the truth, then everybody gets used at some stage in their lives - you're not the only one. You just have to chalk it up to experience and move on.
Cheating??
I also have another problem..I've been going out with my current boyfriend for 5 1/2 years and I still don't completely trust him. I had a boyfriend prior to him that cheated on me and broke my heart. My current boyfriend has said to me, ';I'm not like him, I would never do anything to hurt you';, but whenever we're together he always has his cell phone off and it drives me crazy. Sometimes I think I'm being paranoid because I don't want to be be hurt as badly as I was before. When I ask him why he always has his phone off, he says too many people call him and it gets annoying. I don't want to push my current boyfriend away because of my insecurities. Do you think men actually tell the truth when they say they are not cheating on you and never would?? I also think he might be getting sick of me always questioning him...I don't know how to trust him. I really want to stop, but I want to be sure he is actually faithful. What are signs of a cheater?Please help!!Cheating??
WELL, BABY DOLL, IF YOU'VE BEEN DATING THIS MAN FOR 5 1/2 YRS AND ARE STILL QUESTIONING HIM BEING FAITHFUL TO YOU, THEN YOU HAVE A SERIOUS PROBLEM. EITHER YOU TRUST HIM OR YOU DON'T. YOU CAN'T CONTINUE TO MAKE HIM PAY FOR THE MISTAKES OF THE PAST IDIOT...IT WILL DEFINITELY PUSH HIM AWAY.
YES, I THINK THAT MOST MEN ACTUALLY DO TRY TO TELL THE TRUTH, ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY'RE WITH A WOMAN FOR THE AMOUNT OF TIME THAT YOU ALL HAVE BEEN TOGETHER. I MEAN WHY WASTE HALF OF A DECADE LYING TO SOMEONE? THAT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE. I DON'T THINK THAT HE IS JUST WITH YOU BECAUSE HE HAS NOTHING BETTER TO DO, AND IF YOU CAN'T SEE THAT BY NOW, THEN I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO TELL YOU.
AND...YES, HE PROBABLY IS GETTING SICK OF YOU ALWAYS QUESTIONING HIM. MY BOYFRIEND JUST TOLD ME LAST NIGHT THAT ONE OF THE THINGS THAT HE LOVES SO MUCH ABOUT ME IS THE FACT THAT WHEN HE COMES AND EXPLAINS SOMETHING TO ME, I DON'T ASK 50 MILLION QUESTIONS. ';WELL, HOW, AND WHY, AND WHAT TIME, AND WHY AGAIN, AND WITH WHO?';...WILL REALLY GET ON A MAN'S LAST NERVES.
JUST BE COOL, AND BELIEVE ME, WHATEVER YOU NEED TO KNOW WILL DEFINITELY SURFACE, WHETHER IT'S GOOD OR BAD...IT WILL SURFACE.
GOOD LUCK BABY GIRL...Cheating??
you have to trust him till he gives you a reason not too...or you will destroy your replationship. I have been hurt badly also before and have a hard time with trust..so I do know how you feel.
Men believe they are telling the truth when they say they will never cheat. It's what they believe. In reality, does any of us REALLY know %100 if we will ever cheat or not? There are no absolutes in the world, not even for you.
The only person that will get hurt if you don't learn to trust, is you. Yes, he will move on because of it, sorry. Work with your trust issues, most people, men and women, have no intentions of ever cheating, and most don't, but there are no absolutes.
I hear you.i am in your same posistion..except that i have gotten over the man before cheating..dare to love completly...it is just your doubts leading you and not your heart..if you love him and want to be with him,, give him a chance to be HIM..he isnt the other guy. ALWAYS BE TRUE TO YOURSELF...GOOD LUCK
You've kinda answered your question. It's not very appealing to show your insecurities. Seems lilke you need to have other things in your life besides him. Don't make him responsible for your happiness. Get a life of your own.
Girls are just as bad! trust him and stop questioning him or he'll run! if you still need to know check his phone when he's not around, if you find nothing then give it up, TRUST HIM! You will never know anyway unless your a mind reader or a human lie detector...
YOU ALREADY KNOW THAT ANSWER.FROM YOUR EX. SO YOU EITHER NEED TO BITE THE BULLET AND JUST TRUST HIM OR LET HIM GO.
If you've been with him for 5 1/2 years, you should know by now whether he's a man of his word or not. Has he ever lied to you in the past? If not, then you have no reason to doubt him. I think men usually are telling the truth when they say they aren't cheating on you. But if you have to even ask them that question, you have a problem. No one can PROVE that they're being faithful - that's an impossible task for you to ask of him. With someone you truly love, they should always be innocent until proven guilty, not the other way around.
You're right - your insecurities will push him away if you're not careful. If this 5 year relationship means anything to you, you should consider couples counseling so that you can resolve your trust issues.
I know plenty of people who keep their cell phones off. I usually interpret it as a courtesy to me - it's totally annoying when someone stops talking to me so that they can answer their cellphone.
You have major trust and control issues, seeing a counselor may help you.. Not all people are out to screw with you. You are doing things that become self fullfilling prophecies. You are acting this insanely around your new boyfriend I would not blame him if he did start looking around.
Women who have trust issues generalize behavior of the man who ';victimized'; them in to all men.
There is a coorelation between your mental health and the people you attract. If you are acting nutzo, you will more likely attract someone with a fix-it mentality or another user.
Get your self to a psychologist or a counselor 1 session per week for about 6-12 months to discuss your trust issues.
if there isn't a smoking gun after 5 1/2 years he's probably on the up n up
You need to see a therapist. Unless he has a very sick relative or a job that effectively keeps him on-call, he SHOULD have his phone off during dates.
signs of a cheater are different for everyone,first of all if you dont have trust you have nothing. give space and then if you find out for sure hes cheating, then move on. there is some one out there for everyone---trust your instincts-only you know whats right for you--good luck always
If you can't trust him, then don't be with him and don't waste anymore of his time.
Obviously you have trust issues. That's okay, but in a relationship, especially a long term one such as this, it has to be built on trust. With this, if you can't trust, then you should not be in a relationship. But if you have strong feelings for him, then just talk to him about it. Tell him how you're paranoid, yes, because you are. It's not like he has his phone off when you guys aren't together, or he comes around with lipstick on his neck or smells of another woman's perfume. You can tell especially if he becomes rather distant. Anything you need, I can help, I know exactly how it is, and I had the same exact issue but I realized, what's the point of being with that person if you're not enjoying it 1283721365% of the time. If you're not, find someone new.
And if someone is with you that long, you should've but a bit of trust in your foundation, don't you think?
Stop verbalizing your distrust first of all. That in itself is damaging to the relationship. If you're looking for ';signs'; you're going to find them whether they're accurate or not. I think the fact that he turns his phone off when he's with you is incredibly sweet and considerate. Women know when someone's cheating. You can feel it. That's woman's intuition. So, give him a chance to show you that he's a good guy. Eluding to the fact that he might be the same kind of dirtball as your ex probably hurts him pretty bad. Just act like everything is okay, and soon enough, you'll start to believe it yourself. Don't worry about cheating until you get some kind of evidence. Until then, enjoy his company and practice trusting him.
WELL, BABY DOLL, IF YOU'VE BEEN DATING THIS MAN FOR 5 1/2 YRS AND ARE STILL QUESTIONING HIM BEING FAITHFUL TO YOU, THEN YOU HAVE A SERIOUS PROBLEM. EITHER YOU TRUST HIM OR YOU DON'T. YOU CAN'T CONTINUE TO MAKE HIM PAY FOR THE MISTAKES OF THE PAST IDIOT...IT WILL DEFINITELY PUSH HIM AWAY.
YES, I THINK THAT MOST MEN ACTUALLY DO TRY TO TELL THE TRUTH, ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY'RE WITH A WOMAN FOR THE AMOUNT OF TIME THAT YOU ALL HAVE BEEN TOGETHER. I MEAN WHY WASTE HALF OF A DECADE LYING TO SOMEONE? THAT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE. I DON'T THINK THAT HE IS JUST WITH YOU BECAUSE HE HAS NOTHING BETTER TO DO, AND IF YOU CAN'T SEE THAT BY NOW, THEN I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO TELL YOU.
AND...YES, HE PROBABLY IS GETTING SICK OF YOU ALWAYS QUESTIONING HIM. MY BOYFRIEND JUST TOLD ME LAST NIGHT THAT ONE OF THE THINGS THAT HE LOVES SO MUCH ABOUT ME IS THE FACT THAT WHEN HE COMES AND EXPLAINS SOMETHING TO ME, I DON'T ASK 50 MILLION QUESTIONS. ';WELL, HOW, AND WHY, AND WHAT TIME, AND WHY AGAIN, AND WITH WHO?';...WILL REALLY GET ON A MAN'S LAST NERVES.
JUST BE COOL, AND BELIEVE ME, WHATEVER YOU NEED TO KNOW WILL DEFINITELY SURFACE, WHETHER IT'S GOOD OR BAD...IT WILL SURFACE.
GOOD LUCK BABY GIRL...Cheating??
you have to trust him till he gives you a reason not too...or you will destroy your replationship. I have been hurt badly also before and have a hard time with trust..so I do know how you feel.
Men believe they are telling the truth when they say they will never cheat. It's what they believe. In reality, does any of us REALLY know %100 if we will ever cheat or not? There are no absolutes in the world, not even for you.
The only person that will get hurt if you don't learn to trust, is you. Yes, he will move on because of it, sorry. Work with your trust issues, most people, men and women, have no intentions of ever cheating, and most don't, but there are no absolutes.
I hear you.i am in your same posistion..except that i have gotten over the man before cheating..dare to love completly...it is just your doubts leading you and not your heart..if you love him and want to be with him,, give him a chance to be HIM..he isnt the other guy. ALWAYS BE TRUE TO YOURSELF...GOOD LUCK
You've kinda answered your question. It's not very appealing to show your insecurities. Seems lilke you need to have other things in your life besides him. Don't make him responsible for your happiness. Get a life of your own.
Girls are just as bad! trust him and stop questioning him or he'll run! if you still need to know check his phone when he's not around, if you find nothing then give it up, TRUST HIM! You will never know anyway unless your a mind reader or a human lie detector...
YOU ALREADY KNOW THAT ANSWER.FROM YOUR EX. SO YOU EITHER NEED TO BITE THE BULLET AND JUST TRUST HIM OR LET HIM GO.
If you've been with him for 5 1/2 years, you should know by now whether he's a man of his word or not. Has he ever lied to you in the past? If not, then you have no reason to doubt him. I think men usually are telling the truth when they say they aren't cheating on you. But if you have to even ask them that question, you have a problem. No one can PROVE that they're being faithful - that's an impossible task for you to ask of him. With someone you truly love, they should always be innocent until proven guilty, not the other way around.
You're right - your insecurities will push him away if you're not careful. If this 5 year relationship means anything to you, you should consider couples counseling so that you can resolve your trust issues.
I know plenty of people who keep their cell phones off. I usually interpret it as a courtesy to me - it's totally annoying when someone stops talking to me so that they can answer their cellphone.
You have major trust and control issues, seeing a counselor may help you.. Not all people are out to screw with you. You are doing things that become self fullfilling prophecies. You are acting this insanely around your new boyfriend I would not blame him if he did start looking around.
Women who have trust issues generalize behavior of the man who ';victimized'; them in to all men.
There is a coorelation between your mental health and the people you attract. If you are acting nutzo, you will more likely attract someone with a fix-it mentality or another user.
Get your self to a psychologist or a counselor 1 session per week for about 6-12 months to discuss your trust issues.
if there isn't a smoking gun after 5 1/2 years he's probably on the up n up
You need to see a therapist. Unless he has a very sick relative or a job that effectively keeps him on-call, he SHOULD have his phone off during dates.
signs of a cheater are different for everyone,first of all if you dont have trust you have nothing. give space and then if you find out for sure hes cheating, then move on. there is some one out there for everyone---trust your instincts-only you know whats right for you--good luck always
If you can't trust him, then don't be with him and don't waste anymore of his time.
Obviously you have trust issues. That's okay, but in a relationship, especially a long term one such as this, it has to be built on trust. With this, if you can't trust, then you should not be in a relationship. But if you have strong feelings for him, then just talk to him about it. Tell him how you're paranoid, yes, because you are. It's not like he has his phone off when you guys aren't together, or he comes around with lipstick on his neck or smells of another woman's perfume. You can tell especially if he becomes rather distant. Anything you need, I can help, I know exactly how it is, and I had the same exact issue but I realized, what's the point of being with that person if you're not enjoying it 1283721365% of the time. If you're not, find someone new.
And if someone is with you that long, you should've but a bit of trust in your foundation, don't you think?
Stop verbalizing your distrust first of all. That in itself is damaging to the relationship. If you're looking for ';signs'; you're going to find them whether they're accurate or not. I think the fact that he turns his phone off when he's with you is incredibly sweet and considerate. Women know when someone's cheating. You can feel it. That's woman's intuition. So, give him a chance to show you that he's a good guy. Eluding to the fact that he might be the same kind of dirtball as your ex probably hurts him pretty bad. Just act like everything is okay, and soon enough, you'll start to believe it yourself. Don't worry about cheating until you get some kind of evidence. Until then, enjoy his company and practice trusting him.
I wanna get away from my traitor best friend and my cheating husband. Im ready to move on. How..?!?
My best friend cheated on me with my husband. We're at the divorce stage. Us three had a huge bust up with one another. Ultimately, I left them both in tears and now I just want to move on. There's no way im gonna get back together with my husband or my best friend. I just want a change right now, a new look, a new attitude, a new lifestyle and just do everything differently now. I want to CHANGE. How shall I move on...?? I just wanna get on with my life. Lifes too short. Please help guys..!!I wanna get away from my traitor best friend and my cheating husband. Im ready to move on. How..?!?
I am so sorry that this happened tp you. It has also happened to me a few years ago. My advice is (first) when people show/tell you who they are, believe them the first time. In my case, it took me a long time to be able to trust new people coming into my life. If you find yourself going through that please keep in mind that these people didn't wrong you, your ex's did (ex friend and Husband). Don't let these ex's keep you from trusting people who deserve to be trusted. Just make sure to listen to these new people (and potential new friends) when they show/tell you who they are.
Second, don't give the ex's the time of day....or the chance to talk u out of doing what you are doing. Do not play any mind games with these people (if you can call them that). Keep in mind that this thing with them will never last! This ';relationship'; that they have developed was built on quick sand. There is no concrete in the foundation.....it will definitely fall in time. Anything born out of a lie is doomed from the beginning.
And third, Living well is the best kind of revenge. Don't tie yourself down right away with someone else...(my opinion). Get to know the new you without a husband and x best friend. And realize that she ain't that bad of a girl! Experiment with your style and such and get to know what YOU like and what YOU don't! Go out and have fun....and remember what FUN is! Get out of the environment where you will constantly be ';runnung into that past life and all.'; Get your life back together (and your heart back together), and get out there and live your new life. And be sure to thank your ex hubby (soon to be) (sarcastically) for giving you the second chance at life that his actions have given you! And don't (resist)listen to those people that are going to tell u not to go through with your divorce. This divorce is the begining to your won life! Its a gift! Treat it as such!I wanna get away from my traitor best friend and my cheating husband. Im ready to move on. How..?!?
TY for choosing my answer, But I was just talking from my experience.
No, I need to thank YOU...!! You are truly right. Thank you so much for helping me see sense...!!
Many thanks..!!
Well you've already done the first step which is filing for divorce. A lot of people I know move to another city, or at least a different part of town so they can transform themselves and just be more comfortable knowing that you won't bump into either of them at all or as much. Also, try to find a new group of friends. This can be hard but look for activity groups (book clubs, knitting, rock climbing, soccer, etc) where you can meet new people, or try the internet. I know it's hard to pick yourself up especially after such a huge blow (losing two people you love), but if you take the initiative and are motivated to change, then you can do it. Good luck and keep your head up!
Moving on means saying goodbye to your old way of life and the people in it. You have already moved on by getting rid of your husband and the woman who claimed to be your 'friend'. Emotions take a little longer to catch up, so be prepared for some grieving and soul searching. Once this phase passes, you will be fine.
Do get a new hairstyle or anything that lifts your spirits.
It is not clear how and why they have cheated you as you say. I don't feel they have cheated you a person who is crying when you are leaving them cannot cheat, just re visit the things may be they did it unknowingly or it can be by mistake. Please try to resolve the problem nothing is bigger then love in this world and if you will forgive them it will save at-lest 2 lives from spoiling you and your husbands. Please do think it twice before taking any step.
DIVORCE the solution all the time try getting yur husband back from yur best friend and make her pay giving him divorce means she win u lose.
AND DONT ASK questions here you will mostly get a answer like get divorce or leave him or some thing people are not positive here on these boards thats wht i think and if people use brain and think wisely they will be sucessful;
just look at the divorce rate in some of the muslim countries AND THINK WHY ITS LOW
im sorry. first id hit your husband for doin that. thats messed up..
what you should do is not think about it. and try to move on. i know its hard,
but the less you think of it the less youll have to deal with it. now u will cuz ur in the divorce part, but
just think of it this way. your husbands a dog. your single. new guys =]
and a new start. its not the end. dont be sad because it ended. laugh because it happened.
she obviously wasnt your best friend. good friends are hard to come by
If you want a change then you can move. Probably best to get away. Or take a nice extra long vacation. Go travelling, head off to Thailand and enjoy the lifesytle over there.
Or you could take up a new hobbby or sport. Keep yourself busy and active.
Good Luck
Make a new crowd of friends?
Move to a different town/state?
Hang out at salons?
Take some lessons in something extreme? skydiving/rock climbing/ rafting
Go arghh in the mirror whenever you leave the house?
I believe these will all give you new friends/ a new style, and an attitude.
Good for you ,why not take a relaxing break to somewhere nice to clear your head and plan what you would like to do with your life ,you go girl good luck and blessing to you .
Hmmm, this would make complete sense if you were 16 and ';husband'; was replaced with ';boyfriend';.
i feel for u and its sad maybe move to a new place? it must be hard but right now dont make very hard descions ur hurting just think things through
Bad situation:( right its over and time for you to move on if you have no ties or commitments in the city your in then move somewhere and have a totally new start. if you have commitments family, job etc then move to a different area in your city. book in for a haircut and get a complete hair makeover something totally different new colour new cut go shopping and get yourself some new clothes that match your new look. join a club, dancing classes, a gym, take a course or try a pole dancing class may sound a little bit weird but at the minute their all the rage and may help you to feel confident about yourself and empowered but the main rule is GIVE IT A GO if you dont give something a fair go then you wont know if it fits in with the new you if it doesnt then chalk it up to having a new experience and move on, doing all these things will help you meet new people and change your circle of friends. it will be difficult at the start but just remember that its a new you and throw your insecurities out the door good luck and HAVE FUN :)
I am so sorry that this happened tp you. It has also happened to me a few years ago. My advice is (first) when people show/tell you who they are, believe them the first time. In my case, it took me a long time to be able to trust new people coming into my life. If you find yourself going through that please keep in mind that these people didn't wrong you, your ex's did (ex friend and Husband). Don't let these ex's keep you from trusting people who deserve to be trusted. Just make sure to listen to these new people (and potential new friends) when they show/tell you who they are.
Second, don't give the ex's the time of day....or the chance to talk u out of doing what you are doing. Do not play any mind games with these people (if you can call them that). Keep in mind that this thing with them will never last! This ';relationship'; that they have developed was built on quick sand. There is no concrete in the foundation.....it will definitely fall in time. Anything born out of a lie is doomed from the beginning.
And third, Living well is the best kind of revenge. Don't tie yourself down right away with someone else...(my opinion). Get to know the new you without a husband and x best friend. And realize that she ain't that bad of a girl! Experiment with your style and such and get to know what YOU like and what YOU don't! Go out and have fun....and remember what FUN is! Get out of the environment where you will constantly be ';runnung into that past life and all.'; Get your life back together (and your heart back together), and get out there and live your new life. And be sure to thank your ex hubby (soon to be) (sarcastically) for giving you the second chance at life that his actions have given you! And don't (resist)listen to those people that are going to tell u not to go through with your divorce. This divorce is the begining to your won life! Its a gift! Treat it as such!I wanna get away from my traitor best friend and my cheating husband. Im ready to move on. How..?!?
TY for choosing my answer, But I was just talking from my experience.
Report Abuse
No, I need to thank YOU...!! You are truly right. Thank you so much for helping me see sense...!!
Many thanks..!!
Report Abuse
Well you've already done the first step which is filing for divorce. A lot of people I know move to another city, or at least a different part of town so they can transform themselves and just be more comfortable knowing that you won't bump into either of them at all or as much. Also, try to find a new group of friends. This can be hard but look for activity groups (book clubs, knitting, rock climbing, soccer, etc) where you can meet new people, or try the internet. I know it's hard to pick yourself up especially after such a huge blow (losing two people you love), but if you take the initiative and are motivated to change, then you can do it. Good luck and keep your head up!
Moving on means saying goodbye to your old way of life and the people in it. You have already moved on by getting rid of your husband and the woman who claimed to be your 'friend'. Emotions take a little longer to catch up, so be prepared for some grieving and soul searching. Once this phase passes, you will be fine.
Do get a new hairstyle or anything that lifts your spirits.
It is not clear how and why they have cheated you as you say. I don't feel they have cheated you a person who is crying when you are leaving them cannot cheat, just re visit the things may be they did it unknowingly or it can be by mistake. Please try to resolve the problem nothing is bigger then love in this world and if you will forgive them it will save at-lest 2 lives from spoiling you and your husbands. Please do think it twice before taking any step.
DIVORCE the solution all the time try getting yur husband back from yur best friend and make her pay giving him divorce means she win u lose.
AND DONT ASK questions here you will mostly get a answer like get divorce or leave him or some thing people are not positive here on these boards thats wht i think and if people use brain and think wisely they will be sucessful;
just look at the divorce rate in some of the muslim countries AND THINK WHY ITS LOW
im sorry. first id hit your husband for doin that. thats messed up..
what you should do is not think about it. and try to move on. i know its hard,
but the less you think of it the less youll have to deal with it. now u will cuz ur in the divorce part, but
just think of it this way. your husbands a dog. your single. new guys =]
and a new start. its not the end. dont be sad because it ended. laugh because it happened.
she obviously wasnt your best friend. good friends are hard to come by
If you want a change then you can move. Probably best to get away. Or take a nice extra long vacation. Go travelling, head off to Thailand and enjoy the lifesytle over there.
Or you could take up a new hobbby or sport. Keep yourself busy and active.
Good Luck
Make a new crowd of friends?
Move to a different town/state?
Hang out at salons?
Take some lessons in something extreme? skydiving/rock climbing/ rafting
Go arghh in the mirror whenever you leave the house?
I believe these will all give you new friends/ a new style, and an attitude.
Good for you ,why not take a relaxing break to somewhere nice to clear your head and plan what you would like to do with your life ,you go girl good luck and blessing to you .
Hmmm, this would make complete sense if you were 16 and ';husband'; was replaced with ';boyfriend';.
i feel for u and its sad maybe move to a new place? it must be hard but right now dont make very hard descions ur hurting just think things through
Bad situation:( right its over and time for you to move on if you have no ties or commitments in the city your in then move somewhere and have a totally new start. if you have commitments family, job etc then move to a different area in your city. book in for a haircut and get a complete hair makeover something totally different new colour new cut go shopping and get yourself some new clothes that match your new look. join a club, dancing classes, a gym, take a course or try a pole dancing class may sound a little bit weird but at the minute their all the rage and may help you to feel confident about yourself and empowered but the main rule is GIVE IT A GO if you dont give something a fair go then you wont know if it fits in with the new you if it doesnt then chalk it up to having a new experience and move on, doing all these things will help you meet new people and change your circle of friends. it will be difficult at the start but just remember that its a new you and throw your insecurities out the door good luck and HAVE FUN :)
How long till the hurt goes away? A planned pregnancy, he cheated, I left him, now he avoids me...?
We were together 4 yrs and he had problems with infidelity, but we were in counselling and he had me convinced he was really sure our relationship meant the world to him and he would never do it again-that at 45 yrs old he was really ready to commit for good.
He wanted us to have a child, one more chance in his life to have a family (his other children grew up without him). I believed him, and agreed to try to get pregnant. It took 2 weeks.
But 2 months later I caught him trying to cheat with a woman at work. I confronted him and he said he was just not happy at home because of the problems my teenager causes. I finally left. I couldnt take it anymore.
I dont want him back, but it hurts me that he totaly avoids me, doesnt phone me, changed his number-basicly ignores me. He has assured me of financial support and thinks that all he obligated
Now hes all over the net, trying to meet women, while Im almost due with his child. Will I feel better after my baby comesHow long till the hurt goes away? A planned pregnancy, he cheated, I left him, now he avoids me...?
your life will get better, u did the right thing by leaving him, he is a coward with bad character, best to know now than after u married him. just a low life, he just doesn't want responsibility, doesn't like your kid, if he is offering financial help it is still more than some get. takes time to get over the hurt, that u chose to trust someone that maybe u shouldn't have, but we all make mistakes and learn by them. u will feel better when u no longer expect anything of him, what hurts is u thought he would be there for u, in your mind u created this way you wanted your life to be, and u see now it just isn't going to be this way, because he ran out on u, and changed his mind. he did u a great injustice, sounds as if he doesn't want to deal with the responsibility of a family. theres not much u can do, only know this is something within him, that isn't quite normal, that u couldn't see before. best to know this, and see the truth that he is never going to be there or help with the child. so sorry for u, get some help, maybe some spiritual therapy. when something like this happens to us, it shakes our world, makes us feel so insecure, but hang in there, and life will get better.How long till the hurt goes away? A planned pregnancy, he cheated, I left him, now he avoids me...?
You're going to have a baby and the baby is the most important thing here, not his infidelity or him not talking to you. Get a hold of yourself, your pregnant and your a emotional mess! Have the baby, see a lawyer, get child support and get rid of that jerk. I'm speaking to you from a mans perspective as I don't care what he does; He's know good for you and the baby other than a paycheck. Got it! Get it. You don't need a man like that, you need a man who loves you unconditionally not a guy who wants to string you along. The hurt may not go away for awhile but you'll be OK. Now, first things first! 1. Have your Baby 2. Get a Lawyer 3. Check for your baby (mandated by a court of law, Garnish wages etc. until your child is the ripe old age of 18 yrs or whatever the law allows) 4. Get on with your life. Amen!
Merry Christmas to you and good luck!
wow i feel so sorry for you, i hope that this pain will go away, i personally have never experienced something like this, try getting another partner that really cares for u (dont give up), that may make things better , it does with my ex's, if this new guy really cares for u he will except ur hardships and try and make u feel better... things are also bound to heal with time too, treat urself to something and do everything u can to get out of this miserable state.
Living well is the best revenge.
Go out and make you life and that of your children's something to envy. Focusing on that will take away the pain.
In 10-15 years, he will regret it and you won't care.
Well, approaching a girl is tough, and the only men that have the arrogance enough to do it are ones who do not revere them enough. I am sorry this has happened to you. I don't know what else to say. I would never, ever approach a girl, but I would also never hurt her emotionally. When I read stories like this, I'm always shocked.
You could feel better, you could feel worse. It all depends on your perspective.
But the pain will definitely stay for a good long time. Having someone you love betray you always hurts. And all you can do is accept the truth, deal with the pain and wait for the time to come when you can move on.
You can't MAKE the pain leave. You have to deal with it.
U have totally trapped urself up with a guy who will destroy u slowly and steadily. But when the child comes he'll mean the world to u so wait 4 him and try to keep him away 4m that rascal it will do good 2 u as well as ur baby. BEST OF LUCK! and MERRY CHRISTMAS!
I am sorry you had to go through that..The pain will go away if you let it..move on..do some things to keep your mind occupied..do not reason with why he did it, that will not help..
focus on the baby.. your new baby that you will have and like it or not that is his baby too..he has to have a part of that babies life...my suggestion is talk to him about what you two are gonna do..
Ifeel for your pain You sound like a good lady, sorry that you got tied up with a scumbucket
Hello
i think you do correct . Cheater and layer person not able to love i know its hard for you but up and down is part of the life .All men are not equal . take care
Thanks
bye
You seem totally oblivious to his desire to cheat. It's like you're well aware of his infedility , yet you dont understand his reasons at all.
1. He no longer is attracted to you.
2. He cheats because he can.
3. He doesnt like your kid, (excuse)
4. youre clueless.
5. youre clueless.
6. you're clueless.
7. and i quote '; i don want him back, but it hurts me that he totally avoids me.';
8. You'll have a child who will rarely meet his father and develop an unflenching hatred for him.
9. The father in 10-20 years will realize he's been wrong all these years for being so distant and unsupportive of his son.
10. This is another typical american family, congrats.
The hurt will stop...I was in a similar situation with my sons father. At least he is offering financial support(something I have done without). This man doesnt sound like a very good role model, so it is a blessing that all he is offering is the financial support, and doesnt want to play an active role in the childs life. At least you wont have to worry about the baby looking at a womanizing adulture and thinking that it is ok. Just give yourself a little bit of time, and keep telling yourself you are better than him, and you can definately do better.
dunno
He wanted us to have a child, one more chance in his life to have a family (his other children grew up without him). I believed him, and agreed to try to get pregnant. It took 2 weeks.
But 2 months later I caught him trying to cheat with a woman at work. I confronted him and he said he was just not happy at home because of the problems my teenager causes. I finally left. I couldnt take it anymore.
I dont want him back, but it hurts me that he totaly avoids me, doesnt phone me, changed his number-basicly ignores me. He has assured me of financial support and thinks that all he obligated
Now hes all over the net, trying to meet women, while Im almost due with his child. Will I feel better after my baby comesHow long till the hurt goes away? A planned pregnancy, he cheated, I left him, now he avoids me...?
your life will get better, u did the right thing by leaving him, he is a coward with bad character, best to know now than after u married him. just a low life, he just doesn't want responsibility, doesn't like your kid, if he is offering financial help it is still more than some get. takes time to get over the hurt, that u chose to trust someone that maybe u shouldn't have, but we all make mistakes and learn by them. u will feel better when u no longer expect anything of him, what hurts is u thought he would be there for u, in your mind u created this way you wanted your life to be, and u see now it just isn't going to be this way, because he ran out on u, and changed his mind. he did u a great injustice, sounds as if he doesn't want to deal with the responsibility of a family. theres not much u can do, only know this is something within him, that isn't quite normal, that u couldn't see before. best to know this, and see the truth that he is never going to be there or help with the child. so sorry for u, get some help, maybe some spiritual therapy. when something like this happens to us, it shakes our world, makes us feel so insecure, but hang in there, and life will get better.How long till the hurt goes away? A planned pregnancy, he cheated, I left him, now he avoids me...?
You're going to have a baby and the baby is the most important thing here, not his infidelity or him not talking to you. Get a hold of yourself, your pregnant and your a emotional mess! Have the baby, see a lawyer, get child support and get rid of that jerk. I'm speaking to you from a mans perspective as I don't care what he does; He's know good for you and the baby other than a paycheck. Got it! Get it. You don't need a man like that, you need a man who loves you unconditionally not a guy who wants to string you along. The hurt may not go away for awhile but you'll be OK. Now, first things first! 1. Have your Baby 2. Get a Lawyer 3. Check for your baby (mandated by a court of law, Garnish wages etc. until your child is the ripe old age of 18 yrs or whatever the law allows) 4. Get on with your life. Amen!
Merry Christmas to you and good luck!
wow i feel so sorry for you, i hope that this pain will go away, i personally have never experienced something like this, try getting another partner that really cares for u (dont give up), that may make things better , it does with my ex's, if this new guy really cares for u he will except ur hardships and try and make u feel better... things are also bound to heal with time too, treat urself to something and do everything u can to get out of this miserable state.
Living well is the best revenge.
Go out and make you life and that of your children's something to envy. Focusing on that will take away the pain.
In 10-15 years, he will regret it and you won't care.
Well, approaching a girl is tough, and the only men that have the arrogance enough to do it are ones who do not revere them enough. I am sorry this has happened to you. I don't know what else to say. I would never, ever approach a girl, but I would also never hurt her emotionally. When I read stories like this, I'm always shocked.
You could feel better, you could feel worse. It all depends on your perspective.
But the pain will definitely stay for a good long time. Having someone you love betray you always hurts. And all you can do is accept the truth, deal with the pain and wait for the time to come when you can move on.
You can't MAKE the pain leave. You have to deal with it.
U have totally trapped urself up with a guy who will destroy u slowly and steadily. But when the child comes he'll mean the world to u so wait 4 him and try to keep him away 4m that rascal it will do good 2 u as well as ur baby. BEST OF LUCK! and MERRY CHRISTMAS!
I am sorry you had to go through that..The pain will go away if you let it..move on..do some things to keep your mind occupied..do not reason with why he did it, that will not help..
focus on the baby.. your new baby that you will have and like it or not that is his baby too..he has to have a part of that babies life...my suggestion is talk to him about what you two are gonna do..
Ifeel for your pain You sound like a good lady, sorry that you got tied up with a scumbucket
Hello
i think you do correct . Cheater and layer person not able to love i know its hard for you but up and down is part of the life .All men are not equal . take care
Thanks
bye
You seem totally oblivious to his desire to cheat. It's like you're well aware of his infedility , yet you dont understand his reasons at all.
1. He no longer is attracted to you.
2. He cheats because he can.
3. He doesnt like your kid, (excuse)
4. youre clueless.
5. youre clueless.
6. you're clueless.
7. and i quote '; i don want him back, but it hurts me that he totally avoids me.';
8. You'll have a child who will rarely meet his father and develop an unflenching hatred for him.
9. The father in 10-20 years will realize he's been wrong all these years for being so distant and unsupportive of his son.
10. This is another typical american family, congrats.
The hurt will stop...I was in a similar situation with my sons father. At least he is offering financial support(something I have done without). This man doesnt sound like a very good role model, so it is a blessing that all he is offering is the financial support, and doesnt want to play an active role in the childs life. At least you wont have to worry about the baby looking at a womanizing adulture and thinking that it is ok. Just give yourself a little bit of time, and keep telling yourself you are better than him, and you can definately do better.
dunno
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